Marriage Maintenance


Engagement Shoot at the Duke Mansion 2011

Kristin Vining Photography

In the last three years, we’ve had a baby, moved, renovated a house, changed jobs, been to Italy, Germany, Austria, Czech Republic, Aruba, Italy again, are now pregnant again, among many other things life throws at you.  Even through all the chaos, we’ve managed to stay happily married.  As I look around me, I know this is a feat in itself.  Of course, I want to know what makes US work, how we keep it all together, the maintenance required for a happy marriage.   Here’s a few things I’ve noticed.

1. We have goals, common goals, and individual goals.  We set up a plan for each year, financially and otherwise.  We look at these goals and set realistic plans into place to achieve them.  Do we always meet each goal, no, of course not, shit happens sometimes, but that’s ok.  We roll with it.  Usually, we find a way to laugh about the things that don’t quite go our way.

2. We actually like each other.  I know that sounds stupid, basic maybe.  But it’s true, there’s no one I’d rather spend time with than my husband, and he with me.  It’s great to have social time, but we are so much happier when we get plenty of time together as a family.  Does he get on my nerves? Sure.  I’m 100% certain I get on his nerves too.  At the end of the day, I can’t think of anyone who I enjoy irritating more.  Love you, honey!

3. We are each other’s biggest cheerleaders.  If I am happy, he is happy.  If he succeeds, I succeed too.  I never want to rain on his parade or bring him down in any way.  Behind every great man, there’s a strong woman lighting a fire under his ass.  I want the hubs to feel as awesome as I know he is!  On the flip side, he makes me feel beautiful!  Who doesn’t want to hear that their hubby thinks they are still sexy?!

4. We don’t always hold the traditional gender roles in our house, and that’s ok.  This house couldn’t run without either of us.  Cooking, cleaning, child care… We switch it up often, as needed.  Neither of us minds doing anything required to keep things going.  With a husband who travels for work, it can feel like being a single parent.  Thankfully, Brian doesn’t mind taking over when he gets back, to give me a break!

Are we perfect?  Not even close.  Do we argue?  Sure, sometimes.  Do we always agree?  Not likely.  But the one thing we do is love each other, in spite of our flaws.  With all the crappy stories out there, hopefully this will give some hope and positivity.  Have a wonderful week, and know there’s always some maintenance required, even on the love life!

PS.  After posting a few of our wedding pictures, several people asked to see more.  here is a link to the website Style Me Pretty, who featured our wedding back in 2012.  Enjoy!!!

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